


Kobra is Sick of Ghoul's Shit

by iridescent_blue



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Killjoy AU, M/M, Party and ghoul are gayy, also danger days is so underrated, also why are there no killjoy fics like ever, idk man i'm done, kobra kid is fucking done, so are sandman and kobra, such a good storyline, this is so vague omg, this is super shitty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-19 15:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13707510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridescent_blue/pseuds/iridescent_blue
Summary: literally kobra's internal monologue and reflecting on time with sandman (don't worry hes not dead kobra just likes thinking about him)this is total trash and v much so a oneshoti didn't edit thisi might go back and make it good but today is not that day





	Kobra is Sick of Ghoul's Shit

**Author's Note:**

> hahahaha spoofagoof on you
> 
> i really like my chem and fob
> 
> :) im not total voltron trash
> 
> but this is trash
> 
> enjoy pissy kobra

The desert, for as long as the Kobra Kid can remember, has been a literal hellscape. It’s hot and dry and sand will always get in your  _ everywhere. _ Dracs will randomly patrol and try to blow your head off at every possible opportunity, even though they can’t fucking shoot for shit. There’s no such thing as getting a good night’s sleep until you’re dead since the cold or an emergency transmission would wake you up at ass o-clock. The sun will burn you up if you stood still too long, or another crew would come along, mug you, and steal all of your shit.

 

Kobra wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

The desert also happened to be full of color and music and life and  _ feeling. _ You don’t get much of that in Battery City, don’t you? Sure, you have a huge chance of death in the zones, but you also have family and love and every color under the sun to use without fear of rehabilitation or a dosage of pills. If anyone told him that he should live in Bat City, he would ghost them in about three seconds. No matter how hard life in the desert got, it was his home and that was something that wouldn’t change. He would always be the Kobra Kid, infamous hacker who had offed more Dracs than he could count. 

 

Speaking of which, he was about to fucking murder Fun Ghoul for making  _ so much noise _ . He was working on a new kind of bomb that will fuck up your hearing for a good thirty seconds, so he could incorporate them into smoke bombs (Ghoul had always been obsessed with trying to make flashbangs, and he was finally getting close to figuring it out). He always had a thing with explosives and making new types always involved a lot of trial and error (and in this case, so much fucking  _ noise _ ). Kobra didn’t even have headphones that worked anymore since Jet’s had broken and he had stolen Kobra’s.

 

It was amazing that he was creating a new kind of bomb, but Kobra wanted him to take a  _ fucking break. _ This absolute bullshit had been going on for three hours now, and he would rather hear Ghoul and Party fucking, instead of three minutes of silence then a blood-curdling screech (and that was saying something, as whenever he heard them going at it, he wanted to ghost them). He couldn’t even go on a drive since his bike was broken, and Jet had taken the car for a quick run. He was stuck in the diner, with nothing to do except sit in quiet agony as Fun kept messing with the pitch and tone of the bomb.  _ Fun Ghoul. _ Sounds a lot like  _ fanculo,  _ which is  _ fuck _ in Italian. Yeah.  _ Vaffanculo. _ Fuck you, Fun Ghoul.

 

The funny thing was though, that those bombs were the reason that the entire crew was alive (and that Kobra actually had a boyfriend). They had gotten into a huge fight with another one of the main crews, the Youngbloods, consisting of Dr. Benzedrine, Mr. Sandman, American Beauty and American Psycho. They ruled the outer zones, and the Killjoys ruled the inner zones, closer to the city.

 

It was a nasty fight, in the middle of a huge turf war between the two gangs. As much as Kobra hated to admit it, they were damn good fighters. Everyone from his crew took on one of the Youngbloods, Party Poison versus American Psycho, Jet Star versus American Beauty, Fun Ghoul versus Dr. Benzedrine, and Kobra just had to be stuck with Sandman. He had a lot of knives on him, and every time Kobra got one knife away from him, another just seemed to appear. It was quite amusing, and Sandman took every opportunity to laugh at him for it. 

 

There came a point where Sandman ended up on top of Kobra, holding a knife to his throat. Fun Ghoul chose that exact moment to set off one of his prototype flashbangs, making Sandman let out the most high pitched shriek that Kobra had ever heard, jumping up and literally slamming his bony little ass into Kobra’s crotch. It was far more painful than any gunshot wound that Kobra had ever sustained. In retaliation, he kneed Sandman in the crotch, and it became a literal wrestling match. Kobra’s pants now had many unconventional rips in them from rolling over Sandman’s knives, which he still got teased about. 

 

They ended up slashing the tires on the Youngbloods car and leaving them out in the middle of nowhere, which was definitely an asshole move since the Killjoys’ diner was very close by, so naturally, they gravitated towards the nearest shelter. In hindsight, it was a completely idiotic idea, but it ended moderately well.

 

None of them should’ve been surprised when the entire Youngbloods crew showed up at their door.  _ That _ was an interesting shouting match between Benzedrine and Party, one that no one wanted to be there for. However, it was beautiful to see such a tiny man in a fedora scaring the literal shit out of the leader of a complete rebellion.

 

Needless to say, the diner was twice as packed now, and Kobra could no longer complain about Party and Ghoul making noise since he and Sandman made way more (Beauty and Psycho had nearly shot them both multiple times because of it). But hey, it’s a small diner and the Youngbloods’ (now abandoned) base of operations was too far away, and Party would  _ eviscerate _ anybody who did anything in his car.

 

The two gangs now completely ran the desert, Dr. Death-Defying broadcasting their progress against BL/IND to the rest of the rebellion. The Youngbloods still protected the outer zones, and the Killjoys continued leading the charge on Battery City. Now, it was just more coordinated, and many more crews actually were taking part in it, since it wasn’t just the Killjoys in charge, but the Youngbloods as well. It seemed like nothing could go wrong.

 

Until that fucking girl showed up, and we all know the rest.

**Author's Note:**

> :) i wanna fuckin die
> 
> happy new years ya little shits
> 
> also should i write more killjoy au stuff bc i love the concept but i'm bad at writing in general so
> 
> idk if you liked it leave some kudos or if you have any motivation at all then leave a comment??
> 
> also i changed my username so hi
> 
> luv ya
> 
> bye
> 
> -blue


End file.
